6 Kegerator Beer Thieves to Watch Out For

How to Identify Thieving Kegerator Culprits

While we all buy a kegerator with the intention to share our brew with others, there are quite a few "others" who we want to keep away from pulling on our tap handles. Remember folks, beer is only for those who are aged 21 and up and is NOT for those who we don't specifically invite over for Happy Hour.

How to Identify Thieving Kegerator Culprits

1 The Trespassing Neighbor

We love our neighbors. We avoid our neighbors. We conveniently are on good terms with them when they have the tool or baking ingredient we need, but we definitely duck and hide from them when they ring our doorbell at the end of a long day. Didn't you see my garage was closed?!?! But there are also plenty of times we're happy to have their company especially to show off our new backyard kitchen complete with a stainless steel outdoor kegerator filled with Spiced Pumpkin homebrew. The good neighbor even bought us a pumpkin tap handle once! But really the best part of this kegerator is that it comes with a locking door. Our neighbor likes to tinker and figure out how things work, but we all know his tinkering always breaks things. You'll never have to worry about the neighbor sneaking over for some "beer ingredients" and adjusting the settings accidentally when you're at work or on vacation. You can't trust a neighbor who you've witnessed cutting ample amounts of rosemary from your front yard without asking.

Trespassing Neighbor 2 The Kid (the obvious)

You learned early on that you had to start filtering your #*!$ words when your kid started talking. They see all, hear all, and repeat everything you do. So it's no wonder you walked into the kitchen one Tuesday morning to find your 5 year old practicing their beer pouring skills. Now, while you were impressed by the kid's pouring skills, you were also immediately horrified that your child knew how to access the bubbly goodness inside. The future of your kegerator was not looking good if your spouse found out. So, what's a responsible parent to do? You need to kid-proof the kegerator. The wrap around faucet lock and the metal beer faucet lock are good choices. But you'll have to be stealthy about unlocking it because remember - they see all, hear all and repeat all. Also, don't forget where you put the key. Having no access to beer at home is truly a parent's worst nightmare!

Babysitter 3 The Babysitter

It's a Friday in February and you haven't had an adult night out alone since before Christmas. Time to call the trusty babysitter - but is she trustworthy? She's 17, very studious and loves your kid. But after the kid goes to sleep, she gets a little bored. She notices the beautiful new kegerator in your basement and thinks that no one will notice if she takes just a half a glass. You can either catch her in the act using security cameras (don't be that weird person who watches people on cameras) or be proactive and get a beer faucet lock and an beer line shutoff valve. Sorry babysitter! Feel free to take some caffeine from my Coffee Kegerator, because it's going to be a long night.

Maid with Beer 4 The House Cleaners OR Was It The Landlord?

Thursday evenings are something to look forward to. The house cleaners have come while you're at work, leaving everything sparkling and smelling fresh. Now you can kick back, relax and enjoy your homebrew. But something's not right. The CO2 isn't right, and the beer is flat. You've been sabotaged! While the house cleaners showed up today, so did the landlord. Coincidence or crime? All fingers point to the landlord who hates your dog barking, but there's no fingerprints to lift since the house cleaners disinfected so well. So, instead of getting mad, get even. Get a lock for the beer fridge. This way they can't mess with your internal kegerator settings ever again. And maybe put up a security camera. This is war after all.

Spouse 5 The Spouse

You pre-ordered the new, amazing beer from your local brewery 6 months ago and then stood in line for an hour and a half to get it filled. The ratio of Simcoe to Amarillo hops is just right. And with the hint of lime and chile pepper, you really want to savor every sip of this beer. You plan on being totally selfish with this beer. But your wife got home earlier from work than you and found your beer honeypot. Now she can't keep her hands off the tap handle, and you are slowly watching your rare, treasured beer supply slip away too quickly. So when she goes to bed, place the wrap around faucet lock around the tap and hide the key in a manly place she'd never look in - like the cufflink bag from your wedding - you haven't touched those in 9 years!

You drinking beer 6 YOU!

You're a pretty responsible person. When you're awake. But you have been diagnosed with noctambulism, or sleep walking. And what's the one thing your sleeping self craves? Oatmeal Stout. Which you always have on tap as your house standard on your stout dispensing kegerator. You've been waking up wondering why you feel so hungover when you only had 2 stouts the night before. Then you watch your home security camera footage and realize you are your own worst enemy. There are 2 quick and easy fixes for this problem: the kegerator lock and the stout beer faucet lock. But if you want to give your spouse a reason to upgrade your kegerator, go for the kegerator with the built-in door lock. You don't want your sleepwalking self to adjust any of those internal settings that you've perfected. Just make sure your better half keeps the key to the lock so your sleeping self doesn't disable the system. It's a shame that you can't even trust yourself these days.

Kegerator Security Tips:

If your kegerator can be seen from the street or from a neighbor's window, your beer may be in danger. Make sure you keep a tap lock and door lock on at all times to deter any unwanted dispensation without your knowledge.

Use authentication devices like the Brewsky to guarantee no one can access a pint without logging into the kegerator first.

If all else fails... Post warning signs Murder Beer